Is it me?

안영해사요....hey all...

Is it me? Am i the one that changing? I don't really know...or is it him, is he changing due to the anxiety that he might feel entering a new phase of his life?

To be honest, i don't  have the answer

I don't feel that warm fuzzy feeling when you're in love anymore, i don't get that non stop smiling when i heard from him anymore..i don't feel as attached to him anymore... in fact, i miss the feeling that you're in love so freaking much...

I started watching sweet, romantic, light dramas that are not my forte...i feel alive seeing the characters in that drama shyly confessing their love, thinking of each other, showing their affection like there's no one around them...

Or maybe the fact that I've been with him since last 4 years has taken its toll...or maybe my heart is trying to tell me that we are not made for each other...and its time to let go?
*sigh...its hard
In a way i feel that i had enough..i just want to forget and start new....

Yeah for sure he has been good, great company in fact, he helped me so much in many ways and im forever grateful on that...we've been through some major challenges together...i did love him but im not sure anymore...

Part of the reason is that this geographic factor for us..long distance ain't do any good... another reason is that i feel he never really did incorporate me in his life..and i always feeel that he's blaming me on some of the decision he'd made in the past...

And i won't lie, these day i always dreamt of my first love, donno why, just out of the blue..and i never vividly remember the details, it's like all blurry but him...

Maybe some kind of jokes...

For now...im asking myself is there someone in my heart..

All the feels faded...faded significantly...

And i dont know when its all gonna end...either we both fail in this relationship or we make it out alive...

Im don't  have high hopes tho...i just feel so blant...

Ahhhhh, i wish im that lucky girl in sweet drama....(its not possible tho)..i just want a man that support, take me as i am and make me as his everything...

So much to ask?