Wednesday, July 13, 2016

a sense of lost and hopelessness

its after eid holiday, yup eid celebration was fun and tiring as always

now, im back to my hectic life, literally speaking, i have tons of things to do but its all feels like nothing, im lost and i need help

when i tried to organize all those stuff, even when on rare occasion where i tidy up my whole stuff, my room, my books and papers, i still feel lost, its like something IMPORTANT is MISSING and i dont know what is it...

i know im not losing myself, i know that im still on track for all my tasks and works, but still, a chuck of something is missing..

its like an artist that lost his magic touch, a scholar who lost his  innovative ideas, a man who lost his balance...

yes, that's what i feel, its seems that i lost my own unique factor of component in my life, but why?
i know a few possible reasons
1) im super tired
2) im stressed out as a lot of things are not progressing according to plan #suppliersproblem
3) i got bored of all this work load

yes, those are the known reasons, but im pretty sure that there are more... i cannot pin-point it... i feel distanced from most human beings, like im a new species, trying to fit in

i know, i just need a break, refresh, and restart with awesome will, the thing is that, i dont have time for any of those healing.....
or maybe, this is one of the sign that my anxiety problem is getting out of hand due to the extend exposure to stress?

the bottom line is, i dont know, im confused , lost and feel hopeless....

somebody or something please snap me out of this hopelessness feeling !!!!!

Dear Mom

 Dear Mom I think I needed to write here to get things off my chest, to heal myself and to not dwell on the pass anymore.  I am not pointing...