Life update : Heck! it has been 2 years

 believe it or not, it has been 2 years since the last time i wrote anything here..

In summary, a lot has change!

Well, im going to summarize by year.

2020, NOT A GOOD YEAR

So what happened in 2020? i got my fair share of "penyondol" experience where there was a female trying to ruin my relationship by using various methods, even the dirty ones...so desperate I would say

The thing was that she was not attracted to him as who he is but more so to the idea of him and what she can achieve with him, money and position wise. And did I mentioned that she is wayyy older than us..

So we got that sorted out by August, I found out on this in May... 3 months of lost time basically and all of this happened during the first lockdown coz of Covid 19...

Well, you thought it ended there? hell no!

As the nature of a "penyondol", she kept trying, texting and even sent those black magic stuff to us, but fortunately, we were able to overcome it..

By the end of 2020, things are back on track but I wont say its 100% okay, but certainly we will recover. 

What 2020 teaches me - 

* to understand that there's only so much you can do, the rest is up to qada' and qadar also the universe to decide

* negativity can come in the form of positivity

* i learn to trust myself more and know my worth

* if it is meant to be, it will be

* sabar is the loneliest fight you have to go through on your own, for your own self

NOW, 2021 - THE YEAR OF SUPRISES

Things were still quite unstable in January, although we decided to tie the knot this year

A lot of realignment, discussion, deep talk and self-reflecting needed to be done from both sides..

At this time, we were in lockdown 2.0......so things are quite restricted to say the least.

At first, we decided to get married on June, but as the lockdown and all, we pushed it to August as it will be in between of our birthday (im a June baby and he's an October baby)..So, month by month, we started to buy the things needed for our Hantaran (gift to each side; bride to groom, groom to bride), our nikah and reception outfit (we bought 2, 1 for each occasion but ended up only wearing one, lol), the nick picks of wedding stuff..

We then send the form to JAIS and let e tell you, things got delayed. I experienced what its like to be stressed out on wedding during this time. SO, we ended up changing the date to October, a day after his birthday, why? COZ JAIS DELAYED EVERYTHING... but we were all cool...

Then we sent the documents form JAIS to my side of Jabatan Agama right, they only gave us confirmation on the wedding date, like 14 days before the ceremony itself...OMG if I can show the chaos at that time I will..

In 14 days, we have to settle leave applications, our nikah outfits, doorgifts, the whole food and drinks, EVERYTHING..

But thankfully, everything works out and yeah, we are married !!!!

IM A MARRIED WOMAN 👰 - the fact that im still getting used to until now, especially when people call me PUAN..

So we moved into a new place, starting to live together which for the first couple of months were awkward as heck, there's a lot of readjustment arguments which were constructive and yeah.. 

Well in 2021 I learned that

* Sabar produce the sweet fruit of berkat

* Living with another human is a challenge in itself

* WTH Im someone's wife??

2021 really surprised me, the change in status, the wifey me and also i have a husband now?

I ended my 2021 with a lot of weird feeling to be honest 💁

NOW, WE ENTER THE ERA OF NEW JOURNEY - 2022

I got married in October right, been on birth control since April..

so i got off the pill in mid of Jan and guess what, the test shows 2 line by 1st week of Feb..

Im freaking out, me? a mom?? and kids, that is the importance of birth control..lol

Joking2.. Im prepared to be a mom, or so I thought, hahaha.. all of the preparation go out the window once i saw that double line on the test kit..

yeah so now I'm expecting, the due will be on November, more on this journey in another post soon.

Okay now that the elephant is out, 2022 has been nice so far, I finally resigned from that entrance of Hell (workload and understaff problem) and got a new job, closer to my field of study at least.. The happiness I felt at this new job, omg so relaxing and there's no rush.. Everything is cool and I dont feel stressed at all, which is great for my condition now..

Married life is fun I would say, I have someone to bother 24/7..hahaha

in all seriousness, after 11months of being married, i would say the first 6 months is challenging as both of you are trying to adjust and get used to each other (in our case, we are together for 8 years before but still, it feels like you dont know each other).

Communication is key, emotional outburst is the enemy.. Be open to learning new things aout each other, keep an open mind and open heart, Insyallah your marriage will be as calm as the ocean

Would I get married sooner if I knew what I know now? No, I believe in time has already dedicated things for you and if let say I got married at prior to 2020, I believe the marriage will hit a major rough patch and we might not survive..

All things happen at its time, which is perfect for you and your life..

I'll update more on pregnancy journey, my wedded life and life in general but 1 thing that I can say is that, Im forever grateful for this marriage, this kid in my tummy and this life I have now and I am excited to live the rest of my life, finally, I have that feeling after being dead inside for so long..

xoxo

Dian